bigmember Wear
bigmember all-cotton T-shirts

bigmember quality hats

Premium bigmember Gear!

bigmember quick spray (several marvelous scents / flavors!)

bigmember winder
(a place to keep those extra inches)

bigmembership Details:

First, before you can fill out a bigmembership form and reap all the LARGE benefits of being a must first measure up. This is a pain free easy, interactive process. At the bottom of this page, there is a ruler. Place your appendage near the ruler when it is in its most extended mood. Our Cathode Interpretive Diode Distance Beam will electronically measure your Member. After placing said member near the ruler, click on "Measure MY Member Now." Results will be automatically displayed on your screen. If you measure up, fill in the bigmembership form at the bottom and send it in.

a) If you are allowed in, you will be eligible for the basic "Woody Level" membership. You will receive, for only $9.99 including shipping and handling a framed bigmember Certificate in your name for proud display. Your bigmembership could also possibly give you great discounts on some of our famous products listed below. That is, when they are finally produced and made available to the well membered public.

a) Eight dozen bigmember pocket protectors!!
b) bigmember chafe cream (works great, just ask Logman).
c) bigmember quick spray (for disinfecting if bigmember touches a dirty bowl).
d) bigmember mega sheaths (also useful for temporary shelter during maritime disasters).

e) The famous bigmember Morning Downward Bender. This amazing tool allows direct urination in the A.M.*

. . .and this is only a spattering of what we will offer.

* Warning. The bigmember bender should not be attached to the tongue. Never strap this to a child under the age of 5. If the strap attachment is loose, bigmember rapid flinging can occur. Remove the Velcro strip before using. Do not use this product if the bigmember is blue, red or bent more than 45 degrees to the left. Do not share this unit. To disinfect, soak unit in pure isopropyl alcohol for 8 days. Do not suck on this object. Do not insert this object in the rectum or nostrils.


bigmember Woody: $9.99 will get you a

framed bigmembership certificate

(For now, until we get an easy payment system, if you are qualified to be a bigmember, send us an email with you name and address. We will send you information on how to pay by email. Thank you.)

Once we get our member guidelines straight, we may also offer the following membership categories:

bigmember Chubby

bigmember Schlong Monster


Measure My Member Now!