bigmember Wear
bigmember all-cotton T-shirts

bigmember quality hats

Premium bigmember Gear!

bigmember quick spray (several marvelous scents / flavors!)

bigmember winder
(a place to keep those extra inches)


Employment Erectory

Area: Berlin, WG.

Job Title: bigmember QA/QC Manager I

Duties: The selected candidate will perform quality control at our West German bigmember Bonnet factory. The candidate should have at least 3 years experience in member Bonnet mechanics, and should have at least 1 year with a firm that manufactured head gear.

Posting date: Open, applications always accepted.

Area: Keene, NH.

Job Title: Elastic Fabricator for the bigmember Morning Downward Bender

Duties: Strong background in member flinging desired. Knowledge of plastic fabrication, and the stretch strength of the human member (note: experience in hippopotamus member stretch length will be accepted in place of human experience). The candidate should also have experience in wall spray, urine stream arch, and brief slap.

Posting date: July 1, 2001. Applications due by July 2, 2010.

Area: Port Washington, NY.

Job Title: Member at Large, Public Meeting Support (PMS).

Duties: As the Member at Large (PMS), the incumbent will be a front line contact at our biannual Member Vendor Trade Show. The selected candidate must have a working knowledge of bigmember protocol, including measuring standards, devices, and background of company. A blonde, 5', 2" female, that is gorgeous and follows commands nicely will be selected over all others. Sorry, but we are doing the interviews.

Posting date: Open, applications always accepted.

Area: Agalgclicktiya, Zaire.

Job Title: Choyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo Plant Grower.

Duties: Work in hostile environment and perfect the art of culturing the Choyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo plant in a hot, humid environment. Candidate will have a strong horticulture background and be able to work long hours with blisters and bug bites all over their body. Must be able to chew long fibrous sticks to extract the juices of the bitter, acidic plant for days on end.

Posting date: Open, applications always accepted.

Area: Brent "Gordo" Alpern's House (location revealed at interview)

Job Title: Job Title revealed at interview

Duties: Duties revealed at interview.

Posting date: Open, applications always accepted.