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bigmember quick spray (several marvelous scents / flavors!)

bigmember winder
(a place to keep those extra inches)


Men, are you sitting down? Clever is not the word for this device. The Member Bender is an adjustable, completely adaptable unit that safely holds an erect member in a downward angle for morning erection urination! Tired of waiting for the big drop? Tired of spraying your entire bathroom wall? Tired of not being able to relieve yourself after a quickie? Tired of faking belly bound? Well, this is the answer my friends. 12 adjustments let you customize the grab to your private slab. No pinching, and comfortable for most users. There are however a few warnings. So we ask that you read them here. There is also one new warning from the FMC (Federal Members Council) that we mention here at the part of our settlement to properly label this amazing creation.

*WARNING: The member bender should not be attached to the tongue. Never strap this to a child under the age of 5. If the strap attachment is loose, rapid member flinging can occur. Remove the Velcro strip before using. Do not use this product if the member is blue, red or bent more than 45 degrees to the left. Do not share this unit. If bloody sores appear after use, stop using it. To disinfect, soak unit in pure isopropyl alcohol for 8 days. Do not suck on this object. Do not insert this object in the rectum or nostrils.

Please Read this special FMC mandated supplementary note: If you are a Bantu Pygmy, or of Bantu/Congolese Pygmy, Congolese Pygmy, or of Zairian Pygmy decent, or you have any of the following diseases: Microgenitalia, Double Member Stage 1; or if your member is greater than 4 inches in diameter*; or if ONE of your parents was a short, stocky person with one of those turtle neck collar members; or if your member does not maintain an erection for more than 2 minutes,... DO NOT USE THIS DEVICE! Several instances of spring back and belly bruise have been reported in a statistical sample of 40 such users. Thank you, bigmembers.

For our customers, it is important to relate this information. This FMC warning arose after some Argentinean Vicunya farmers (with amazingly THICK members) used our device to suspend from Capocca Trees to win favor of young virgin Argentinean Vicunya farmer girls. We have petitioned the FMC, and submitted 3 FOIL requests to get the actual reports, but have been continually turned down.


"I never had the opportunity to drain easily prior to a quick shower, but now, with the bender, I can just squirt away, comfortably, cleanly and without any burn!" Martin Crutchmonger, Detroit, MI

"My weanie was flying all over the place one morning. I strapped on the bender, and man what a wonder. And, I found out that I can also eat breakfast with it on!" Herman Dorman, West Haven, CT

Eventually available to our customers for only 32.22 each!!!!