Gasmasters Oath*

From the mundane to the methane
From the sharp to the tart
Within the foul
From the lowly bowel
Through the fumes of flame
The smells of shame
The embarrassing blame
The strong the tame
Gasmasters does hear by proclaim
That all of the gases from the irritable masses
Are held to be true
Given there due
Whether projected or spewed
Quiet or rude
The Master of Gas will always smell true
Always smell true

*(Part of the text of this oath, officially adopted by Gasmasters in 2001....was found in a burnt out temple in Sudan by missionaries, circa 1902, author unknown. Much thanks to Dr. Hemma A. Royd for the text translation)