The Blue Flame
Flatulent Moments in History By Dillon Couchcushion
December 1, 1734:
Margaret "Little Margie" Stencilcraft emerges in France as the Lady of the Fume. A deformed sphincter, with amazing fluidity, allows Stencilcraft to produce a tuba like sound from her tiny rump. She is jailed in 1735 when she causes the HMS Fortune to run aground.
January 4, 1969:
John Edwards Martin strikes a chord with the Woodstock crowd when he exudes a gaseous bubble from a Yasger Farm pond. The miasma contains lysergic acid fumes and intoxicates 12 people. Martin's a...hole is impounded as an illegal dispenser of drugs. He dies in prison during a marathon butt sniffing contest.
June 22, B.C. 100:
Gligflabin Urgumbo Ug Ug uses two inflated tapir carcasses to collect six Wooly Mammoth releases that he then uses to subdue a giant Cave Sloth. The Cave Sloth awakens while being dragged from the cave and eats Ug Ug.
March 9, 2002:
Norm Kim, a Korean pharmacist is injured when his partner Gim Flang accidently releases a toxic blow next to a kerosene lamp. Kim was removing a pin pong ball from Flang's flank at the time.
May 10, 1942:
Dr. Richard Listinbergermeisterwitz, also known as Dr. Anus, discovers the Mr. Bubbly Bath Tub Fume Brightener.