The Blue Flame
Gasmasters Oath
Where Have You Expelled?
Flatulence Facts
Recommended Reading
Under the Sheets

Who Are The Gasmasters?

Who Are The Gasmasters? Explaining such an important and lasting institution, can only be compared to trying to explain why methane exists at all. The Gasmasters are as fresh and vibrant as the earth itself, lingering among us as if destined for immortality.

What we can do is tell you a bit about our ethic, without clouding your vision. Gasmasters is an organization that duly and with fervor...recognizes
the elite among the methanogenic harboring colons of the next millennium. People, normally cast aside as if they were just a mist, settling upon the foundation of existence, are recognized......for a gift. A gift like any other, noteworthy and respectable in it own right. The sharp, strong, lasting gaseous expelation, held to a level of decency, treasure and remembrance.

Our glorification of the gaseous does not fade away with time. Gasmasters move with elegance against the fragrant tide of the odoriferous. We climb to heights unimaginable only decades ago, when most methanogenic materials were held, slowly dispelled, or passed in multiple tiny whimpers. Unappreciated for their complicated worth.

So, to sum up the vaporous challenge we have taken upon us.....we have officially and undeniably, if not completely without credence, assembled the very first Master of Gas Certificate (MOG).

What does this mean? It means that a holder of an MOG is in a hierarchy by themselves. Incontestible with being detestable. A fume, a plume, or any unique sphinctorial tune. Gasmasters has spent years perfecting the rules and language of acceptance into this elitist group.

What are the benefits of a MOG? Please, don't insult us. Just think. Your world, pungent, tell-tale and lasting, will....for the first honored and revered. The odors seared upon the nasal odor defectors of the multitudes. Recognized and registered, for unanimity. Your expelation will be part of the methanogenic nation.

Rejoice. Repose. Release. Register.

Be proud of your clouds!*

Zigfeld Carmen

*Please Note: The phrase "Be proud of your clouds" may have been trademarked by the Laotian Meteorological Society in 1922 for use on their weather show, "Laos is wet." If this is in fact proven in court and we cannot use the phrase in the U.S., we may have to change our slogan to "Groom your Fumes!" We will keep you updated.